The blackness has fallen. How long this time?
Even medicine doesn't lift the unbearable weight. One day flying at 100 mph..the next screeching to a halt. All movement like molasses. Can't function can't move. All around overwhelms and the tears stream...flowing, drenching. Then the numbness.
Nothing is as it was, but I've been here before..this cycle nothing new to me. Since the first big surge of estrogen I've ridden this ride. up and down up and down up and down. It's different when your children look at you and know you have to move...have to care for something..have to feed clothe wash maintain. Before children I found a hole and didn't come out until I could fake it...fake it, fake it..fake it. My whole life has been manic or fake it.
I need help.
Wow, have things changed! I haven't felt that veil of sadness for a very long time. Why was I so frightened to start the drugs?? It makes me mad that people vilify meds these days..especially phycotropic drugs! And if you plan to help your children with these meds, people think it's child abuse!!
Anyway, my point is this...if you ever feel like I did when I posted that blog..SEEK MEDICAL ADVISE! Life is so much more than living that way..help is out there! Don't waste another minute!
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