Come in for coffee....WELCOME to our new home.

Yes, we are blessed to own a another home.  It has been fondly nicknamed the FARM as it is 1/2 acre and zoned for farm animals.  This begins our journey into self sustainabilty...gardening/ canning, raising chickens, goats, and even a cow and horses later. I can't wait to have free-range childen, too.  They are looking forward to 4H. I will continue to homeschool Isaac and Samuel..and I know working with animals will help Isaac with communication and physical therapies.

Thank you Lord for always providing for our family... and to all of you friends and family who have sustained us with you love, care, and practical support.  Come on over and sit a spell!

2012!!

Debt FREE!!!!

Feels amazingly liberating!!!

So, just came back from my doctor for my 10 day check-up. I am down a total of 21 lbs.!!! Needless to say, I am dumbfounded. To be honest, after trying every diet know to man kind, I was skeptical this would work. I am a food addict. I was sure that I would find ways to cheat. This lapband is fool proof. You feel so full after a few bites that the desire to eat just goes away. Every other diet, I thought of food all day long...I was starving. I cryed and thanked God yesterday. I finally am free from food. I ate 532 calories today and right now I feel like after Thanksgiving! So here are today's pictures....

THEN April. 9, 2011 

                                                                                                    NOW Sept. 19, 2011

 THEN April 9, 2011

 NOW Sept. 19, 2011

THEN April 09, 2011

 NOW Sep. 19, 2011

5 days Post-op

Feeling a little weak having only clear liquids since last Friday.  Will start protein shakes this Friday.  My incisions are healing well. House is falling apart some, but able to keep up with kids homework and schedules.  This being my only real goal.  As with the hysterectomy, this has been more painful and restrictive than I was expecting...but over-all will be the best thing for my health. Thanks for the prayers. I will be posting pictures EVERY Monday.  So look forward to seeing me shrink! :)

Snag...

On the motherhood note, I have found a very nice trick for snacks when you are out all day running errands...this has been a life saver for me. In the morning, I let the kids fill the compartments with all sorts of snacks for the day...LOVE IT!

Been awhile...

While the doctor checked me over for the lap-band surgery, they found a mass in my uterus. Along with other things.  So this Friday I will be having a hysterectomy.  I'm surprised at the feelings of grief I'm experiencing!  For so many years, I was pregnant or nursing.  I guess I fell comfortably into that role...the idea of never having another baby is difficult for me..I know, I know...I have 4 beautiful children.  It's not logical..all emotional.

Hysterectomy.

So the tests came back and I have a tumor in the lining of my uterus.  They took biopsies and looked inside and found numerous smaller tumors in the lining.  Hysterectomy is the next step before I can think about the lapband.  I'm thankful they found it! and more importantly can fix it! Tuesday will be when we get the biopsies back from the lab..Let you know when we have those results...

Messy FUN

Lapband journey...

So hello friends,


I've had many exciting things to talk about...I am enrolled in an on-line school to finish my teaching degree.  YAY! I'm floating through the lessons and exams so far with ease.


I've also begun a weight loss journey.  I'm going to have a lapband placed on the upper part of my stomach. I have started the health testing part of the process.  Last week I had an endoscopy, unltrasound of pelvic and upper torso, and an EKG.  Tommorow I go in for a stress test.  They also called back and told me they found a mass on my ovary.  I go back in on Friday for more tests..thinking it's just a cyst.


The next step is finding a new antipsychotic medicine because the one I'm on now can't be crushed (the first month after surgery is liquids only).  After that I go to a sleep study in the beginning of May.  If all goes well, I will have the surgery at the end of May.  In the meantime, I've started the pre-op diet.


Here is my starting weight photos...I hope to post new pictures every Friday and report any losses or gains.


Love you all my blogging buddies..

Pasadena Ladies Tea

Had a wonderful weekend! Saw some new and old friends at the Tea that Pasadena threw!  Lisa took nine of us to the spa for a massage..it was incredible! I really needed the time of refreshing.

Previous entry..

From my blog June 7, 2008

The blackness has fallen. How long this time?



Even medicine doesn't lift the unbearable weight. One day flying at 100 mph..the next screeching to a halt. All movement like molasses. Can't function can't move. All around overwhelms and the tears stream...flowing, drenching. Then the numbness.


Nothing is as it was, but I've been here before..this cycle nothing new to me. Since the first big surge of estrogen I've ridden this ride. up and down up and down up and down. It's different when your children look at you and know you have to move...have to care for something..have to feed clothe wash maintain. Before children I found a hole and didn't come out until I could fake it...fake it, fake it..fake it. My whole life has been manic or fake it.


I need help.

Wow, have things changed! I haven't felt that veil of sadness for a very long time.  Why was I so frightened to start the drugs??  It makes me mad that people vilify meds these days..especially phycotropic drugs! And if you plan to help your children with these meds, people think it's child abuse!!

Anyway, my point is this...if you ever feel like I did when I posted that blog..SEEK MEDICAL ADVISE! Life is so much more than living that way..help is out there! Don't waste another minute!

Autism heartbreak...

I remember in the beginning I was heartbroken so much of the time...more because I didn't understand what Autism was...and I could not console Isaac.  As we were enveloped in the Autism community I began to feel strong and hopeful.  We started to see such incredible progress it was exciting.  Even as a community we see awareness levels rising and Autism is spoke of in main stream social activities. 

Then something happens like what happened in the Moreno Valley library that smacks a MAMA front and center in the face.  It wasn't a huge ordeal, but the attitude from the librarians and security guard surprised me so much.  Isaac found a corner while I was checking out the books and was spinning while looking up at the ceiling.  It's just something he does.  He wasn't upset or stressed, he just likes to spin.  The security guard came up to me and told me that he was exhibiting "odd" behavior and needed me to watch him more carefully. WTHeck..OK..."Isaac, come stand by mommy."  I turn back to the books.."Maam, you should wash your children's faces before you go out in public.." Isaac used a sharpie to draw a mustache on himself this afternoon and I've tried..believe me, I've tried. This time she just got a dirty look from me...Now I just ignored her.

We get all the way done and are out the door..BEEP BEEP BEEP!!! The detector beeped and the librarian yelled STOP!!! OK??? We turn around and the librarian yells to the guard, "THAT one went under the rope!!" pointing to Isaac...I say (in a very sarcastic way), "Lady! Here are the books and here is the receipt."  She says, "It is very serious that your child walked under that rope!" She scolded Isaac very harshly and he started to cry.  I rolled my eyes and walked out..

Ok here is my dilemma...I understand that we have to advocate and educate the world at large...we are expected to raise our families, struggle to pay for therapies, build up our marriages, encourage our other children...and HAVE TO EDUCATE STUPID PEOPLE! 

I can also feel this overwhelming struggle when we deal with society as a whole...they present us with a box.  It has certain dimensions and they expect every child to fit into it...then they throw drugs and discipline at both the kids and the parents to bend (even pop) joints out of place to fold inside the box....

I wholehearted admit that my children are weird (look at their parents).  They are not like other kids.  They are foolish, childish, playful, and expressive.  They are not the kind of children to excel at one particular skill.  When we walk into a place all together it can be kind of daunting.

But they know they are loved.  They have experienced sand in their underwear and paint in their hair.  They are free to make their own PBandJ and I've never cut up their apples (eat it whole or you get none).  They have hammered real nails with real hammers.  They have been read aloud to everyday of their lives.  They have watched and journaled a pumpkin from seed to 20lbs.  They have baked a cake and burned themselves with the glue gun. 

SO we are weird you big fat world....but to be honest...I LIKE IT THAT WAY!

Creative Play

Maybe it's the sunshine...maybe it's the birds chirping...whatever the reason, I'm feeling a creative flow that cannot be quieted.  Here are a few ideas we are going to do this coming week.  Wanna come and play?

I wish they would stay little.  I'm having so much fun!

Enjoy today...

Make a memory with your children,
Spend some time to show you care;
Toys and trinkets can't replace those
Precious moments that you share.
Money doesn't buy real pleasure,
It doesn't matter where you live;
Children need your own attention,
Something only you can give.
Childhood's days pass all too quickly,
Happy memories all too few;
Plan to do that special something,
Take the time to go or do.
Make a memory with your children,
Take the time in busy days;
Have some fun while they are growing,
Show your love in gentle ways.

- Elaine Hardt -